I am by no means an expert in memoir writing. And yet, as I finish up my first year as an MFA candidate, I find myself “in deep” so to speak, with a memoir project. Writing about true events—especially when they are your own, lived, experiences—can be challenging. Here are six tips that I’ve come to learn (sometimes the hard way) as a novice memoir writer.
Trauma has a tendency to be at the forefront of memoir. The exploration of painful subjects can be a cathartic and even healing experience for some writers. However, don’t forget to check in with yourself and ask: am I ready to write it? Digging into content before you’re ready can feel like re-opening a wound and poking around inside. In my experience, there’s no telling which memories may trigger you as a writer. Mary Karr in her acclaimed book The Art of Memoir states, “I’ve said it’s hard. Here’s how hard: everybody I know who wades deep enough into memory’s waters drowns a little.” In the interest of not re-traumatizing yourself, I recommend keeping close tabs on your emotions and being kind to yourself as you go inward in search of stories.
Recreate the moment in your mind in as much detail as possible. Personally, I do creative visualization exercises to engage as many senses as possible. I close my eyes and try to recreate the scene as I remember it, all the while asking myself: What does it sound like? What does it smell like? Where is the action happening? Who are the characters? Use the details you summon to build the scene for your readers.
When in doubt, refer to journals, photos, and other resources that take you back to the moment. This advice is twofold: I find that keeping a journal, whether or not it generates content, can nourish your relationship both with your memories, and with your voice.
Discuss your project with someone you trust. Memories, like dreams, can fade quickly into the netherworld of your subconscious mind. I’ve found that the more attention I give to these hazy narratives, the stronger they become. Nourish them with attention. They are worth devoting conversation to, and you will be surprised by the nuance that re-emerges.
Writers need readers. Find someone (perhaps that same friend from tip number 4) who can be both honest and respectful. This person doesn’t necessarily need to be a fellow writer, but they do need a certain level of investment in your work. In my experience, the ideal reader makes me feel both validated and challenged, but never stifled.
Keep in mind that while you should always stick to the truth, memory is a creative process. There is a difference between reporting and reflecting. You may inevitably need to embellish some of the minor details to flesh out a scene. In some cases, you may choose to create a composite character in order to simplify your plot and render it more accessible (though be sure to notify your reader when you take artistic liberties such as this). Allow yourself to enter the creative process of memoir writing, and do your best to have fun with it!